EFT – The foremost approach in successful couples counseling:
- Studies show 75% to 90% report feeling happier in their relationship after completion
- Attachment Based Theory helps couples strengthen their “Love Bond”
- Long lasting results: (studies have shown only 35% improvement with other approaches)
- Effective for marriage, common-law, dating, friendship, professional relationships
- Endorsed by the American Psychological Association
Common reasons why couples decide to see Fran:
“We love each other but we seem to be having more and more fights”.
“She’s always angry. Whatever I do just seems to make it worse, so I end up not saying anything.”
“I can’t reach him. He just disappears. I feel so alone in this relationship.”
“We’re at a crossroads. We’ve grown apart. Every conversation turns into a war.”
“I found out she’s having an affair and my world is turned upside down.”
Strengthening the “Love Bond” – Relationship and Marriage Help
There are many different reasons why couples decide to seek relationship counselling. However, the underlying reason that Fran encounters goes directly to the heart of what every human being needs – to feel closely connected to our loved ones. As an Emotionally Focused Therapist, Fran helps couples learn a new language of love. Whether married, common-law, or dating, couples often become caught in a negative dance where each reacts to the other in a way that ironically pushes their partner further away when what each person ultimately desires is to come closer together. This perpetuates a negative spiral that leaves them both feeling alone and unhappy. EFT opens the door to a new way of understanding each other, leading to more satisfying emotional, physical and sexual intimacy. EFT offers a roadmap for getting back onto this closer, more connected course. Fran has helped hundreds of couples repair their relationship and find lasting connection and happiness using this approach.
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a unique, empirically-based approach to individuals and couples counselling designed to expand and re-organize key emotional responses. The approach was developed in the 1980s by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg and has subsequently been validated by 1000s of hours of clinical research. EFT is a collaborative approach that is respectful of clients and is based on Rogerian therapy with structural, systemic interventions. The goal of the therapy is to to create a shift in partners’ regular positions/stances and initiate new cycles of interaction. From a position of increased experiential awareness, couples are encouraged to begin to take steps towards changing the positions they take by default and thereby break the negative dance that can cause feelings of isolation, frustration, and despair. EFT aims at strengthening the sense of security in relationship by focusing on attachment and love bonds.
An Example of the Change Process
In a therapy session, a husband’s numb withdrawal expands into a sense of helplessness, a feeling of being intimidated. He begins to assert his need for respect and, in doing so, becomes more accessible to his wife. He moves from “There is no point in talking to you. I don’t want to fight.” to “I do want to be close. I want you to give me a chance. Stop poking me and let me learn to be there for you.” His wife’s critical anger then expands into fear and sadness. She can now ask for and elicit comfort. She moves from “You just don’t care. You don’t get it.” to “It is so difficult to say – but I need you to hold me – reassure me – can you?”
New cycles of bonding interactions occur and replace negative cycles such as pursue-withdraw or criticize-defend. These positive cycles then become self-reinforcing and create permanent change. The relationship becomes a safe haven and a healing environment for both partners.
Fran’s recommendations:
- “Hold Me Tight” Dr. Sue Johnson
- “Love Sense” Dr. Sue Johnson
Videos
YouTube videos of interviews with Dr. Sue Johnson as she works with couples and discusses her approach.